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Clown Tear Junkies cover image
Clown Tear Junkies
2013
195 pages
Fiction
Humor & Satire

"Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today."-Bradley Sands, author of TV Snorted My BrainWithin the whacked-out worlds of these twisted tales, only one thing remains the same:Everything is better when laced with the tears of a clown...When a sexually adventurous couple decides to spice things up by bringing bees into the mix, they learn it's never wise to dial 811 in case of an emergency. A deadbeat dad gains employment as a lady-in-waiting in a fairytale bromance where every character looks exactly like someone else from John Carpenter's The Thing. The unknowing victim of a cruel prank, a simpleton spends his entire life waiting on a park bench for the hottest girl in school. Using only his twenty-sided die and good old-fashioned D&D magic, a man must continually resurrect the neighborhood kid regularly murdered on his own front lawn. An aging slaughterhouse worker and the iconic figure from Edvard Munch's The Scream hit the clubs every weekend in a vain attempt to get laid.These and many more absurdities await in Clown Tear Junkies, the debut collection from Douglas Hackle.

Top Reviews
Michael Shotter
October 9th, 2025
Absurdist or bizarro fiction doesn't typically make its way onto my to-be-read pile. In fact, it's been several years since I last sampled anything from the genre, so I am far from an expert on the subject. That said, I do feel as though I've read enough to have a decent sense for when I'm experiencing the best and worst of it.

Of course, one of the tricky things about assessing such tales is that so much of what makes or breaks them for a given reader is inherently subjective. Do you get and appreciate the references to things that are being leveraged and toyed with? Do the jokes land? Are the off-kilter story hooks compelling and do they stick with you after the story ends, or do they just evaporate into the either once you've turned the page? There's so much about bizarro that makes it really tough to talk about or assess in any sort of traditional manner but in the interest of doing "Clown Tear Junkies" justice, I'm going to give it a try.

First and foremost, if I were going to pick a book to put into someone's hand and say, "Here you go. This is a good example of what bizarro/absurdist fiction is. Give it a try and see if it's for you," this would probably be the one I'd choose. It has a nice variety of stories that range from over-the-top and outright ludicrous to, dare I say it, almost reserved and introspective, while still maintaining the quirky and off-the-wall vibe one should expect from a genre that's essentially about giving a giant middle finger to established literary conventions at just about every opportunity.

The included stories are typically short, rapidly disintegrating into chaos or coalescing into something from one or more initial fragments after just a few pages, but some are a bit longer, usually for the sake of expanding or articulating their absurd premise to some degree when it's so out there that it might otherwise instantly implode without the additional structure. Many of them are offensive by design, taking jabs at just about everything under the sun but there's definitely a fixation with a few themes like sexuality and societal woes such as racism. I enjoyed most of the tales but a few didn't do much for me. Some personal favorites were: "How Much Is That Hospice in the Window?," "The Date," "Struggle of a Description," "Fishing With Higginsworth Fig VII: A Tale of Denial," "FUNERAL, CEMETERY, AUTOMOBILE, ALCOHOL," "The Day My ID's ID Got Carded," "Long Necks," and "The Audacity of Hope." Honestly, if the book had just been those eight stories, it would have been an easy five-star read for me but I completely understand why the others were included, and why some might prefer them to the ones I connected with. Such is the nature of the genre.

All that to say that, overall, I really did enjoy "Clown Tear Junkies" and had a lot of fun reading it, which I suspect was the ultimate goal in its creation. Is every story in it going to be for everyone? Probably not but I suspect most open-minded and adventurous readers will be able to find more than a few worthwhile within its pages.
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